How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
