i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
