Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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