Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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