Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
