Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
