Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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