went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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