I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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