ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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