I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize