Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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