this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize