You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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