so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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