So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize