You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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