Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
