We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
