i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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