You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
