his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry my hands just texted you
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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