Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
