1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i want to swaddle you in tequila
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
