Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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