you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
