I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize