my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
