you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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