her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize