tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
