Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize