Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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