This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
