My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
no. you can't hotbox the world.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize