My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize