do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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