Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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