New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
