trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
