im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
