he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
