You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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