Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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