i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize