She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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