How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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