3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
