I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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