dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
