after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
