Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
