someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
