Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
