Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would fuck him just for his dog
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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