ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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