and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
50% drunk capacity currently
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
