Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
