she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
