hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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