we made out on top of his cat.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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