and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I AM VODKA MAN
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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