i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm like, not good at living.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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