worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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