I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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