Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!

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(727): View more from Florida

Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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(561): View more from Florida

oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything

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(416): View more from Toronto

We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort

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(360): View more from Washington

Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Don’t judge me

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis

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