I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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