my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
