who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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