Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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