Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
