Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
